'I KNOW WHO I AM'
By Vivian LaMoore, Inaajimowin Editor
“I always knew I was gay. Everybody knew I was gay,” said Lala Machen, a Mille Lacs Band member, reflecting on her childhood. “Now I am finally becoming the woman I always knew I was meant to be.”
Lala is a trans woman — Two-Spirit, as she prefers — and she’s using her voice to raise awareness and advocate for LGBTQ2S+ people in her community. She wants others to know: you are not alone. At 21, Lala is in a healthier place — physically, emotionally, and mentally. However, her path hasn’t been easy. She entered the foster care system as a toddler, bouncing between homes and juvenile centers. “They couldn’t find foster families that would take me — a trans girl,” she said. “People didn’t want me in their house. They didn’t want a gay person in their house.” Her voice caught in a pause, her silence heavy with memory.
Things began to shift when she turned 15. “People started to accept me for who I am,” she said. “There have been hard days. Like, you hear people talking behind your back saying things like, ‘Is that a guy or a girl? Is that a trannie?’ But now the reality is that stuff doesn’t bother me. I know who I am.” While today’s society still struggles to fully embrace those outside traditional gender norms, this wasn’t always the case — especially in Indigenous communities. The Ojibwe word Niizhoowaadizi roughly translates to “two-spirit” and refers to someone who embodies both masculine and feminine spirits. Historically, Two-Spirit people held respected roles in many Indigenous nations as healers, knowledge keepers, and spiritual leaders.
Though the term Two-Spirit was only coined in 1990, the identities and roles it describes go back centuries. Colonization and the violence of cultural assimilation, including residential schools, erased much of this understanding. But the knowl edge is not lost — it is being reclaimed. At the Ne Ia Shing Clinic, therapists Ivy Peterson East, LGSW, and Pennie Rubbelke, MSW, LICSW, are helping support healing within the Mille Lacs Band community. With experience working alongside LGBTQ2S+ individuals, families, and allies, they bring compassion and cultural understanding to their work. Their training includes extensive research into the history of In digenous LGBTQ2S+ and Two-Spirit identities — histories that are often silenced or forgotten. They are also deeply attuned to the mental health challenges that can arise from cultural loss, discrimination, and intergenerational trauma, especially among youth navigating multiple layers of identity.
“It’s important to remember that every person is a human being first, with basic human needs,” Ivy said. In her research, Ivy found that gender diversity was long recognized in Native culture. “Since the dawn of time, there have been more than two genders. Two-Spirit people were revered as important members of the community… healers… incredibly important. We can trace the decimation of that belief to colonization and settler culture. It was never up to Native people to stop accepting these folks — they were forced into silence.”
Pennie added, “As a community, we need to educate first. They are human beings first. They are no different than anyone.” Indigenous people have remained resilient and creative in rebuilding their communities. For Two-Spirit people, that means restoring long-held roles and reclaiming visibility — not just for healing, but for survival. Band member, Mirayah Shaugobay, also identifies as Two-Spirit and she, too, lives in Minneapolis. “My childhood and teen years had a bit of trauma, mostly because of bullying,” Mirayah said. “Everyone I grew up around was small-minded… I had just one real friend. The only one I would hang out with every day. Her name is Alexis.” She also had her mother, Asiniikwe Shaugobay. “Mirayah came out when she was 10. I was her listener,” Asiniikwe said. “She attempted suicide one time. That stabbed me in my heart.
From that day on, I was right by her side, giving her strength and showing her that I loved her just the way she is.” Mirayah said her attempt happened when she was 13 or 14 when she took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. “But the only addiction I struggle with is alcohol. I was an extreme alcoholic for a few years.” Studies confirm what these stories make clear: LGBTQ2S+ youth — especially those in Indigenous communities — face disproportionately high rates of depression, substance use, suicide, and trauma. According to the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, the risks increase further for adolescents.
Pennie explained: “Indigenous LGBTQ2S people face high er rates of mental health issues due to internalized homophobia and microaggressions. There’s bullying, stigma — all of it increases mental health symptoms. That leads to higher substance use, sex trafficking, sexual assault, homelessness, joblessness — it all goes hand in hand.” Ivy added that the current political climate also adds pressure. “It’s a frightening time to be trans, or to love a trans per son. There are very few protections, and now they’re trying to limit even those.”
She noted that LGBTQ people have only recently been able to live openly. “In the 1950s, if you were with someone of the same gender, you could be arrested, lose your job, be publicly shamed. It’s only since the 1970s that people even began to come out.” Today, Ivy believes the Mille Lacs Reservation can feel like a safe bubble where people appear to be more inclusive, but not everyone feels as comfortable. “It is nerve-racking to come home to the Reservation,” Lala said. “It gives me anxiety. In my opinion, there are people there who are disrespectful to people they find different. There is always somebody trying to put me down because I am trans.”
What can the community do? “Just accept that there are Native trans women and Native trans men,” she said. “They shouldn’t treat us any differently than any other people. I want people to remember the Two-Spirit people’s history.” Despite the challenges, there’s hope. According to Gallup, 9.3% of U.S. adults now identify as LGBTQ+ — nearly double the number from 2012. Over one in five Gen Z adults identify as something other than heterosexual. Mirayah said she feels that shift. “Today, I am accepted in society. I am still growing and learning, but I’m realizing that people aren’t judging me as much as I think they are. I can be myself and laugh as loud as I want without being looked at as weird. Living in Minneapolis has shown me something completely different from where I grew up in Isle.”
Pennie and Ivy both emphasized the importance of family and community support, and the need for individuals to find their voice. “Allies play a crucial role,” Pennie said. “But each person has to be heard and seen for who they are.” Lala and Mirayahh both have been supported by the love of family — both the family they were born to and the family they discovered along the way. Mirayahh emphasized that her mom was her rock. “When I was 15 or 16 years old, my mom realized for me to be comfort able and love who I am, she needed to find out what I needed. She did some research on being transgender and then helped me get on hormones. She has been the most amazing and car ing person I’ve ever come across. To this day, my mom is very supportive and welcoming of who I am and of my friends. All thanks to her, I have been living the life I should be. I identify as a transgender woman and my pronouns are she/her/hers,” she said strongly, proudly.
Lala said that while her parents are very supportive of her, her greatest support comes from her siblings. “I wouldn’t be me without the support of my little sister and my twin brother. They supported me so much. They told me they will always accept me.” Mirayah, Lala, and Asiniikwe agree they believe there are young LGBTQ2S Band members know who they are but are afraid to come out. “They need to know there are people in this community who can support them,” Asiniikwe said. “They need to know there are people here who love them and will always be here for them.”
Lala emphasized that words shouldn’t hurt. “I don’t want people to get messed up in the head about it. At the end of the day, know that you are loved, and people care for you. Words can hurt, but they don’t define you. If someone calls you a fag or a trannie — know that it says more about them than it does about you. Whatever they said to you doesn’t even matter. We are not always going to be accepted by everyone. But it will be okay. I just want people to know — You are loved. You matter. It’s going to be okay.” Pennie and Ivy discussed the importance of family and com munity support and the need for individuals to express their own needs. They emphasized the importance of understanding and respecting the unique needs of each person, regardless of their background or identity. They also highlighted the role of allies in supporting the LGBTQ2S+ community and the need for individuals to be their own voice.
Asiniikwe said that she has learned a lot from Mirayah. She hopes that more people will come to recognize each in dividual for the unique person they are and be open to accep tance. She wants people to know if anyone needs to talk to someone on the Reservation that she is a safe person for the LGBTQ community. “I want people to know that we are people, too,” Lala said. “We deserve to live and have the same type of respect as ev eryone. They shouldn’t discriminate against us or judge us just because we are gay. You never know — we could be the cool est people you have ever met.”